Thursday, September 24, 2015
Why I Detest Athlete Interviews
Here is the typical scene post game that is at best eye rolling and at worst, agonizing.
Studio Announcer: Ok, lets go down to the field with Hottie Lottie and all of her plastic body parts, she's standing by with Lightning Jackson.
Hottie Lottie: Thanks, Jim. Lightning, impressive win today. Thoughts?
Lightning: yeah, you know, we just, play all four quarters/nine innings/three periods of the game/match. You know, we just give it 110% every day, each man on this team knows his role. There's a lot of respect for coach in the locker room and guys have a different attitude this year, you know?
Hottie Lottie: Yeah, Lightning. So what was your impression of the opponent today?
Lightning: You know, they get a lotta respect in the league, you know, they play 110% everyday and you can tell they function as a team, every man on that team knows his role and theres a lot of respect for the coach, you know?
Hottie Lottie: Thanks Lightning
Lightning, having no idea the name of the plastic blonde that just interviewed him: Ok, thanks (runs away)
Hottie Lottie: Ok, back to you guys
Back in the studio, three to five former athletes that can actually form a coherent sentence (which is why they have the studio jobs) say:
Studio guy #1: Wow! What an impressive young man!
Studio guy #2: Thanks Lottie!
Honestly, even the coaches are 50% of the time as boring and predictable.
Bill Bradley not-withstanding (and even he was a Democrat, chances are his interviews were just as vapid. Including when he was a player), just let the athletes play, spare me the predictable and cliched interviews.
In the spirit of this type of humor, I give you one of the best scenes from the great 2000 remake of an old Peter Sellers movie, Bedazzled: