Sunday, October 23, 2011

At a Classroom Near You...

Timmy: "oooh! oooh!"

Biden: "yes, Timmy"

Timmy: "Um, Mr Biden, um, um, can either you or Mr. Obama, Um, can you tell us, um the difference between profit and profit margin?"

Biden: "well, Timmy, you see .... (thought: shit, where's goolsbee when I need him? Little f*cker's got me in a corner. Why does it smell like urine in here?)"

Biden: "oh, Susie's got a question."

Susie: "Mr. Biden, I have a picture of me with my cat that I want to give you, you can have it."

Biden: "Well, thank you Susie, I'll cherish this forever (thought :trying to figure out who's uglier, Susie or the cat? Some people in flyover country just shouldn't breed. Reminds of that Friedman column when he was praising the Chicoms. Maybe he was onto something.)"

Biden: "yes, Billy, what's your question?"

Billy: "Mr. Biden, yeah, how come, how come when people like you um, raise, um how come when people like you raise taxes in the long run the government, um, the government actually takes in less money?"

Biden: "Billy, you've obviously been sniffing the glue in the art closet. Everybody knows when you raise taxes on people you always get more revenue (thought: f*ck, thought this was a public school? Little booger eating bastards are tying me in knots.)"

Biden: "Ok, kids, time for one more question. Johnny, in the back?"

Johnny: "Mr Biden, I understand, yeah, uh, I understand that thanks to you and Mr. Obama the debt is projected to reach $15,000,000,000,000."

Biden: "Don't forget to blame Mr Bush for most of that, Johnny."

Johnny: "Yeah, whatever, ok, so, um, I heard other people with a 'D' next to their name on TV talk about how its my fault, and um, how its my fault and um, I want to do what they keep saying is, um, you know, 'my part' to help, you know, pay that down. Here's my milk money, put it toward the debt."

Biden: "You see, boys and girls, this is responsible citizenry. I applaud your contribution, Johnny, you are a model citizen and obviously you don't watch Fox News. Class, thanks to Johnny's contribution, the National Debt is now $14, 999, 999, 999, 999.50. Who else would like to contribute their fair share?"

Billy: "What about you, Mr. Biden? Are you now going to take a taxi back to Washington, or that big black Limo out front?"

Biden: "Shut up, Billy."