Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Greetings, Comrades, In The Name Our Leader, Comrade Barack Obama

Greetings, Comrades. Good health to you in the Name of Comrade Barack Obama. I write this communique to you from my office window, overlooking Great and Glorious City Hall, where Viceroy R. Daley has continued to enshrine Comrade Obama. May he live for ever, his rule be eternal, and may his free market enemies be crushed underfoot.

I come with great news. The Ministry of Information has released even more Comrade Obama paraphenalia, with everything from Hope & Change Bumperstickers to Comrade Obama Trading Cards. Glorious day, may all the martyrs that have gone before continue to sing from the Halls of Valhalla, praise be to the One who has his own damn trading cards. Young Comrades, who gives a rats ass about the Barry Bonds Rookie Card when you can own the Barry Obama Inaugural Card! On the back will be the number of ordinary Americans and local politicians crushed by Comrade Obama's swift and glorious rise to power! Bonds had 70+ homers in a season?? pbbbt. Call David Axelrod when you have an impressive number to report. Young Comrades, get Great & Glorious Leader trading cards at your local Peoples Republic of Chicago 7-11. Yes, they are taxed heavily at purchase, but you'll certainly get that back in the form of Middle Class Tax Credits

I must sign off now, Comrades. Other cyber obligations will keep me from JG&AH more than usual, but remember, as long as Comrade Obama is enshrined around City Hall, he's omnipresence will bolster our spirits! To victory, VICTORY I SAY, over free markets!

Blessings to you and good health to yours in Comrade Obama's Glorious Name.