Wednesday, November 19, 2008

What Separates Republicans From Democrats

My boss has a counterpart who’s one of the most dynamic and intelligent guys I’ve ever met, and fun and personable to boot. He has a seemingly boundless energy and personality that is fun to be around, very well liked and respected. To protect his identity, we’ll call him “Mike”.

Mike made a rare appearance at my office this morning looking for something work related. Hoping to get a chuckle out of him, a week or two ago I sent him the Excel version of the “Hope and Change 1040EZ” from below. Normally he’d respond to something like that. I asked him on his visit this morning why he didn’t.

“Honestly, Jeff,” he replied, “I’m so disgusted by the whole thing I just had to take some time off from it.”

That’s a common refrain I’m hearing from a lot of folks. Some are backing off from it just because they have election fatigue, not so much that they’re upset over the way the gasbag with a Burger King Shift Manager’s resume rode the wave of white guilt into the White House with vacuous words and a cult of personality. That hiatus is understandable.

Mike, however, seem rattled by the whole thing in our brief conversation. For a high energy guy with boundless optimism, that seemed to sadden me a bit.

Trying to remember my position on the org chart, but remain confident, I replied:

“Mike, never forget this: What separates Republicans from Democrats is how we handle election results. Our happiness and quality of life is in our hands, its not contingent upon what clown sits in the White House. Our lives don’t revolve around government – their lives do. That’s what makes us different.”

Mike agreed but I could tell he was still annoyed, with his usual smile he replied as he walked away, “I hear you, we’ll talk.”

So, as you watch the throngs of slobbering Chicago Media act as though the rapture has occurred, that The One is washing the feet of the disciples, performing great miracles, rubbing spit in the eyes of the blind blah blah – and as you realize how little The One really seems to know about Free Markets and Human Nature, and the media’s seeming lack of interest in that and his dubious campaign funding and radical associations; as you attempt to cope with all those things, be of good cheer. You are a Republican. Your happiness is not contingent upon who holds public office. Your going to find a way to feed your family, save for that vacation, buy Christmas presents for your kids, get that promotion, finish school, what have you…. And you are going to do it in spite of what Barack Obama and his giddy buddies in Congress have in store for you. Democrats are the ones (not all, I’m talking about the kook and loser wing) who go to therapy, burn in effigy, console themselves with Brussel Sprouts and Lattes, and refuse to bathe. We’re different. Our lives go on. And we laugh when Contemporary American Liberalism walks into a mess when in power, reminiscent of Wile E Coyote walking into the rake. The show’s going to be fun.

Be of good cheer.