Thursday, April 19, 2007

Truth In Advertising In The Edwards Campaign

Following up on my "PS" below, I'd like to implore the Edwards Campaign to throw a little honesty into their advertising. Do you recall the flap over Ann Coulter's "faggot remarks" regarding Edwards? I'm not going to get into a discussion over whether or not Coulter should have made those remarks, but I am going to address the letter sent via email to Edwards supporters from David Bonior, the manager of the Edwards Campaign.

In essence, Bonior "just threw in a hundred dollars" to the "Coulter Cash" fund of the Edwards campaign himself. The Coulter Cash fund was a special campaign fund created by the Edwards campaign on the heels of the columnist's famous remarks. Bonior wanted Edwards's supporters to follow suit. This was supposed to show Republicans that their bigoted remarks would not intimidate them in the campaign. It'll teach those Republicans a lesson, yes sir.

So, as I discuss below, Johnny boy dips into the till and has Sergio hair stylist to the stars FLY OUT to his mansion in NC to cut his award winning hair. As a Republican, let me say, I HAVE learned a lesson: John must be pretty, damn the costs!

It hearkens back to Clinton's 1993 hair cut on the tarmac of LAX. It costs $200, courtesy the stylist "Christophe". People were agog over that, especially given that this was on the heels of Clinton announcing "he'd worked harder than he ever had in his life" to give you that tax cut he promised during the campaign, but, too bad for you, you weren't going to get it. I told everyone then (at the tender age of 21) that the minute he was done taking the oath of office he was going to start screwing everyone who believed this and voted for him. But, I digress

So, rather than Bonior talking about Coulter Cash, why didn't Bonior send this email out, and head off the crisis before it became one?

"Fellow Class Warriors,

As you know, the right has taken to calling John "The Breck Girl", a totally unfair piece of slander. John's hair is important to the campaign, not just a vanity piece. As I continue to bald personally, I'll just employ a rug or something of that nature. But John is different; aside from his looks (winning him the praise of the great Whoopi Goldberg), John struggles to have any appeal to anyone outside our class warrior ranks. John MUST maintain his hair at a higher cost than the average member of the Proletariat, so I'm asking you to send in a hundred bucks, just like I did, moments ago. On the 'memo' field of your check, please write 'Christophe Cash', and we'll place it in the fund to keep John pretty. Have no fear, we are not going to take the money, send John to Supercuts or Fantastic Sams, and pocket the difference to spend on things like direct mail or advertising. This money will be exclusively used at places like The Pink Princess Coconut Milk Spa. Can you picture John there, now, flipping through the latest edition of Good Housekeeping, legs crossed, with a pink dome hairdryer on his head with the other ladies? I certainly can.

Friends, this is critical - please consider sending your Christophe Cash in today. Keep John looking beautiful." - David Bonior

See? That isn't so hard, is it? Truth in advertising. Then Edwards doesn't have to worry about returning calls to reporters about the misuse of the funds.

A day late and a dollar short with this advice I know. Lets learn from our mistakes and move on.