Saturday, April 14, 2007

The John F. Kerry Gigolo Starter Kit!

Have you completely bottomed out in life?
Have you lost your life savings investing in Air America?
Are you so far in the dregs that you’re considering joining the military?
Then you need:
The John F. Kerry Gigolo Starter Kit!
This exciting, two disc DVD kit includes a Workbook and Handy thumb reference manual. With this kit, you’ll learn:
*How to speak with an aristocratic accent!
*How to weasel your way into the upper-class social scene!
*How to spot a needy, loaded widow at the yacht club!
*How to convince her that your worthless existence in her life will actually benefit her!
*You'll even receive tips on how to tolerate her bratty, grown children!
"Hello, I'm John F. Kerry. This kit contains my personal secrets to a long life of zero financial responsibility
and utter dependence on another person, for whom you most likely will bring nothing to the table.
I guarantee your satisfaction or your money back!"
And, JG&AH patrons - get a sneak peak at the Michael Moore directed, so its sure to be a summer smash, American Gigolo 2007, starring John F. Kerry! All this, for one low price!