Sunday, October 11, 2009

World's Oldest Man, Bobby Bowden, Signs Contract Extension at 120

Tallahassee, FL (AP) - The world's oldest living man, Florida State University Head Coach Bobby Bowden, 120, signed a one year contract extension to continue at his post yesterday. He'll coach through the 2050 season and then "reevaluate his situation". The national media has roared its approval.

"As long as my health holds up, I'm enjoying it, and someone can empty my bag, I'm going to keep coaching," Bowden said through a voicebox.

FSU president TK Wetherell IV reiterated his support for Bowden, whose Seminoles finished their tenth straight 0-12 season. After this year's painful defeat to Tallahassee Community College, some have been calling for the coaching staff to reconsider staying on, especially embattled Offensive Coordinator Jeff Bowden III. Icky Holtz, grandson of the late Lou Holtz, continued his grandfather's tradition of defending Bowden and lecturing impatient Alumni and Fans from the booth of College Gameday.

"Its great to see that the University has done what is morally proper, and allowed Coach Bowden and his staff to stay on," Holtz said.

When asked if Holtz would like to see his alma mater, Notre Dame, sign Bowden at the end of the 2050 season, should Bowden be available, Holtz replied, "Hell, no."

(folks, I love my alma mater and, as a person, think the world of Coach Bowden. But when is enough, enough? I've been a Nole for a long time and this is the most agony I've ever experienced. Time has come to make changes in the coaching staff. Time to start winning again. We've given Coach 8 years. We've been garbage for eight years now and its time to give Jimbo Fisher a chance.)