Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Big Egg is Screwing Us

The front page of the Sun Times this morning has the headline "Ouch! $1.79 for a dozen eggs?" The Jewel grocery chain has increased the price of eggs by 81%, the story reads, and rising energy prices are the culprit. We all know its Bush's fault. Come on, Leftists. You're asleep at the wheel on this one.

My theory is that the de-facto KingPin of Big Egg is really a man resembling Egg Head from the 60s Batman series. He and Bush and Rove meet in secret somewhere in TX, and, in exchange for a lifetime supply of Omelets, Bush and Rove secretly fix the price of gas with Big Oil to drive up the cost of Eggs. So, when you see Egg Head hooking up a new boat to the back of his Escalade, blame Bush and Rove.

They're best of friends. You heard it here first.